What does it mean to be attractive? Define the qualities that make an individual appealing. Is it embodied by what is aesthetically pleasing or by how they make you feel? As you grow older and learn about life, you will realize that you do not need to see someone to recognize their beauty. Close your eyes, and consider redefining what being attractive means to you.
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.Ralph Waldo Emerson
Integrity means doing the right thing when no one else is watching. Having completely pure intentions with no need for validation or praise is an extremely honorable and attractive quality. Many of us are guilty of doing good when it propels us to get ahead in life, which is fine. Consider doing better. Ask yourself, would you still be doing this even if no one else was aware?
The next time you act in a way that benefits someone or something other than yourself, I challenge you not to post about it on social media or to even tell anyone at all. If you are content with simply knowing that you did the right thing, congratulations — you have integrity. You are already on your way to becoming a better person.
I discussed how children display honesty in an earlier post. Adults possess the same capacity to apply this attractive trait in a more meaningful and productive way. We all have at least one person in our lives (typically a family member or close friend) who will tell us how it is– whether we want to hear it or not. Usually, they are someone whom you have known for a very long time. It may even seem like they know you better than you know yourself.
They are not afraid to call you out if you make a mistake or require a knowledgable intervention. Be grateful you have this individual in your life to keep you grounded. They are a blessing. The people deserving of the most respect are those who care about you enough to tell you what you need to hear, rather than only what you want to hear. They will help you to learn and grow into a better version of yourself.
At times, the truth can be painful, but it can also be liberating. Keep in mind if someone who truly cares about your well being is telling you the truth regarding something you may have overlooked, it is coming from a place of love. Listen carefully to their words. They care about you enough to tell you what you must hear in order to become a better person. Life is much less complicated when you are honest with others and yourself. Be truthful in all that you do.
Being humble is one of the most attractive traits, in my opinion. You could be the best-looking person on the planet, but if you are narcissistic or choose to treat others poorly, looks are irrelevant. Physical appearance is negated by inner beauty. Try to see through the facade. Humility and kindness are beautiful.
Be confident in who you are. If you are a good person and talented in your respective area, there is no need to boast about it. Your actions and how you treat others will reflect what kind of person you truly are. Beauty is displayed through your behavior. Everyone deserves to be seen for who they are inside.
Only the best people I know consistently demonstrate selfless actions throughout their life. To give or do something for the benefit of others before yourself without any intention of personal gain or reward is the epitome of what it means to be selfless. Putting others’ needs before your own is often a saint-like quality, not to mention one of the most attractive and admirable. Would you sacrifice any of your wants or needs for the greater good to benefit others?
Everyone is capable of altruistic acts. The more we give, the greater we are rewarded. Consider someone who did something for you without being asked, simply because they cared. How did it make you feel? Perhaps you were inspired to share a similar act of kindness because you knew the benefits associated with being on the receiving end of selfless behavior. These traits are ultimately what makes you an attractive person — not from being judged based solely on physical appearance, but because others will be drawn to your genuine kindness and compassion.
People often tend to confuse the idea of having empathy with pity. They are not the same. Feeling sorry for someone does not mean that you are an empath. You must actually have experienced yourself what they are going through to genuinely understand how they are feeling.
For example, I feel sorry for anyone who has broken a bone because I have not experienced it personally. However, I have empathy for those who suffer from chronic migraines because I have actually experienced it for myself. I understand first-hand what they are feeling, therefore I can empathize with them. Unless you can say, “I’ve felt your pain” you are most likely sympathetic rather than empathetic.
You need not feel at a loss if you cannot personally identify with or relate to what someone else is experiencing. What matters is that you show them compassion regardless of the situation, whether you can express empathy or not. Sometimes all it takes is a willingness to listen and understand that can help to ease another’s suffering. Thich Nhat Hanh describes this beautifully:
In a time of anger or despair, even if we feel overwhelmed, our love is still there. Our capacity to communicate, to forgive, to be compassionate is still there. You have to believe this. We are more than our anger, we are more than our suffering. We must recognize that we do have within us the capacity to love, to understand, to be compassionate, always.Thich Nhat Hanh